1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
