I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
