I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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