We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
