im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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