If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
