But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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