You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I didn't shave. On purpose
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
