Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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