i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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