Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
