I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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