just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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