Define "chronic" masturbator.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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