yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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