So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
