Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
