How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize