she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think people are normalizing furries
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
