I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
