The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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