Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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