Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
