great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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