so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
