billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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