Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
