Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
