He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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