At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
