It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
