all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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