Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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