I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
