It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
