you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
