Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
