We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to fling myself into the sun
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
