Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
