I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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