so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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