Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
