I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
