My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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