Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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