Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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