Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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