dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize