Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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