That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Fuck appropriateness.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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