Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
