I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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