i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
