nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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