she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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