hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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