I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Welp...herpes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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