you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
