never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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