It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
