I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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