So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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