guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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