I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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