More tranny stories later!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize